Self-discovery

This is not a new year, new me post

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We’ve had our fair share of half friendships, almost relationships, and unfulfilled dreams

All this is not time bound to the year 2017, it’s actually a set of decisions we’ve taken our whole lives

They all led up to now

This is not a new year, new me post

We shouldn’t be looking for a newer version, it would be the biggest mistake of a resolution

The more we look for a new self, the more we leave out the part where we learn from our old self

Whether we’d like to admit it or not, there are trends and patterns in the way we grow

We recycle choices, worries, and people

Choices which keep us running in loops over the years

Worries which get worse over time and find their way deep to our core guarding us against both failures and opportunities alike

People who really add nothing to our existence but more of these repetitive choices and worries

I would say that next year will be better just because people find hope in turning a calendar page

But it won’t, not unless this page we’re turning symbolizes much more than a day, month, or year

If there’s a single way we should define future decisions it would be everything or nothing at all

Love doesn’t come in halves, not in fixing people enough to be deserving of their feelings, not in unreciprocated hopes

It should be all surrounding, exciting, and a chance to feel like you’re a better version of yourself simply by knowing a person

It shouldn’t heighten insecurities, flaws, and imperfections

If anything it should downplay them every chance possible

If there’s one hope we should put in the new calendar year, it would be realizing sooner when we have everything or walk away immediately when it’s anything less

Friendship doesn’t come just in shared interests and long phone calls

It comes in being there, in showing up, and in living through moments however big or small they may be

Dreams don’t come solely based on imagination

They come with risks, failures, and resurrections

This isn’t a new year, new me post although it reads like one

But this is definitely a new year post

 

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