Pieces of fiction · Self-discovery

Snow Belle Flake

Eight months ago

I don’t know why I’m crammed in this room. It’s too small for all of us to fit. Mom left me here alone, and I’m too young to understand why.

I think she threw me away because I’m different. I’m not like my siblings and cousins. I don’t know how to walk properly and I need a lot of attention. That’s probably why she decided to leave me behind. That must be the reason! It’s no coincidence that my whole family isn’t around. It seems like they’re all somewhere safe while I’m in what seems to be a hospital or something except they don’t feed the patients properly and we never get to go out of our rooms unless someone allows it for just a few minutes on our lucky days.

I hope I don’t die here. I really want to see the world. Sometimes when I’m alone in the room for a few seconds, I stick my head out between the iron bars of the door and I catch a glimpse of busy streets and people walking around.

I woke up today knowing things are going to be different. I had a dream that a person with a big problem came to me and asked for help but I woke up to the sound of cars before I could figure out the rest.

I saw four people walking through the hospital door and head straight towards the doctor I dislike the most. I couldn’t understand what they were saying but it seemed like they were negotiating an important business deal.

Most times people walked in here one of my friends goes missing. It has happened so often that I stopped making friends in this place.

The people were visiting different rooms and talking to my acquaintances. I didn’t understand what they wanted from this place. Two men and two ladies just talking, laughing, and looking at all of us like we’re items in a store.

I was next. I could see them walking towards me and I could hear my heart beating out of my chest as soon as they picked me up and held me in their arms. I liked her arms though. That specific lady. She was so warm and friendly. I’ve never felt this way before especially not with the doctors in here.

Next thing i know, I’m walking out of the hospital with those people.

“Where am I? Where are you taking me? Am I going to see my mom?”

Those people weren’t answering me. They were just talking to each other in a foreign language and it seemed like they were nervous about something.

I was in a car and I had a room all for myself and it had so many spaces I could look out from and watch the world. It seemed quite big compared to the one I used to share with my friends.

We got out of the car and entered what seemed like a new planet. It was about ten times the size of the hospital and the nice lady took me out of my room and held me in her arms. She walked towards a young lady who seemed very confused. I couldn’t understand her facial expressions and I felt like she was sending me mixed signals.

I was really scared of this young lady. In my head I called her Mony which is cute for monster. She wasn’t mean to me, she was just so unpredictable. I understood all the other people I was introduced to on this planet except for her.

I was passed on from lap to lap for an hour or so and I felt so exhausted I just wished they would take me to my room where I could sleep. Instead, they pulled out a big pink thing and lay me down on it.

The big pink thing felt like paradise. It was warm and squishy and I could just feel it taking the form of my body as I fell into deep slumber. Deeper than I had ever experienced in my life.

I woke up to gentle strokes on my back and I almost wished it was my mother before I opened my eyes. But the hand felt bigger and softer. It was Mony. I could feel her hand shaking as she touched me and I wondered why she was so weird.

She did that for a really long time and I was too scared to tell her off so I just put up with it.

My first night on this new planet felt liberating. The people didn’t take me to my room. It almost felt like this whole planet was my room and I had to share it with a few persons who really just minded their own business. It felt amazing!

I don’t know why I was so intrigued by Mony but I was always so excited to see her that I would jump when she was around me and she would jump and yell too in excitement, I think.

We did that quite often over the next few months. Whenever I’d see her, I would hide behind a sofa or a door and jump in front of her and she would scream her lungs out in excitement and give me the funniest look. It felt good that we had created a game we both enjoyed. Almost like peek-a-boo except it involved a lot of loud shouts in her foreign language.

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More time passed before Mony would pick me up at night and put me in her lap to watch some TV. I would play with the ropes of her pajama pants until I fell asleep and then she’d wake me up several times by kissing my whiskers.

Mony and I developed our own language. I’d bite her finger to tell her I loved her and she’d yell out strange words and tap my nose to tell me she loved me more.

Eight months later 

Mony has been acting weird the past few days. She doesn’t yell in excitement very often and she doesn’t tap my nose when I tell her I love her. No matter what I do she just sits on the ground and whispers strange things to me. Sometimes I see water in her eyes. The other day a drop of her eye water fell on the ground when she was whispering things to me and I licked it off. It tasted like my treats.

I’m worried that Mony is still mad at me because I left the planet the other day to take a small walk outside.I said sorry so many times. I even let her squeeze me to her chest for long minutes when she found me.

I’m more worried that Mony is leaving me. For the past few days she’s been letting me watch her get dressed and hang out in her room. She only does that before going on missions to other planets. But she’s been doing that all the time so I’m nervous that she might be leaving for a longer period of time.

Sometimes she takes me to a huge fancy hospital with her friend where a really nice doctor takes care of me. I get worried that they might forget me there every time they drop me off. But they never do. They’re always so excited to take me back to the planet.

I don’t think she’s taking me to the huge fancy hospital this time though. I think it’s something more serious and I’ve been asking her to tell me but she I don’t think she wants to.

I’m tired of biting her finger and playing peek-a-boo. I’m finding it harder to walk and play these days. Mony still loves me the same though. I think she loves me better now.

Mony is out on a mission on some other planet now but when she gets back home i will demand an explanation for her whispers. I want to look her straight in the eye and ask her. I tried doing that last night but she just smiled and kissed me.

I have a short speech prepared for her in case she is moving to another planet.

“Mony I know I don’t walk properly and I don’t know how to run.

I know I eat a lot and sometimes spill all the food on the floor.

I secretly know you don’t like peek-a-boo a lot.

I know you always wish I would sleep in your lap like I used to when I was smaller but your legs are just really uncomfortable, I’m sorry.

I know it really bugs you when I storm in your room uninvited sometimes.

I know I’m not normal. The others at the fancy hospital told me and I still wonder why you chose me to be your friend and not someone else.

If you’re leaving Mony it’s okay, but I just want you to know some things. You were never a monster to me. Now I know I was the monster to you. I also know now that you were the person in my dream who needed help.

I think I chose to call you Mony because I was too afraid to call you Mommy.”

I hope Mommy gets me the party mix treats I like or else it’s going to be a peek-a-boo fiesta at home today.

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